Walter Christmas stories
by Awatere11
Summary: Some one-shots for the Christmas Holidays. Just a bit of silliness with /season 6 daily family life.
1. Chapter 1

The seatbelt was cutting into his neck as Ianto leaned forward to rummage through the bag at his feet, then reach between the seats to hand Stephen a tissue.

Poor kid had hay-fever. This time of year and he had allergies.

They were going to get the Christmas tree for the firehouse and Babbit was whining.

"We have the one at home already!" Babbit pointed out and Ianto ignored the way Babbit kept referring to the village as home lately and the firehouse as 'our other place'.

"Babbit, this is for the firehouse. It's our home too. Some people can't come out to the village for Christmas so we will be doing a wee Christmas for them at our town home." Jack answered, noting the grinding of teeth in the passenger seat.

"We always choose a tree and Daddy cuts it down!" Walter said, "You know he likes to do that. We cheer him on."

"He's not a trained monkey" Babbit muttered and Ianto coughed to cover the hysterical laughter that bubbled over.

"Stop being cheeky!" Ianto demanded, looking out the window as they passed the sign for trees.

They pulled into the parking lot and the family spewed forth.

Ianto collected his wee lad, straightening the little elf hat with sewn on ears as Ton demanded a kiss.

Kiss given, he was happy to accept his teething ring and Ianto popped him onto a hip.

Jack retrieved his axe and they wandered over to pay, then headed into the field of trees.

Ton was getting heavy and Ianto shifted him in his arms, the ground too bumpy for a pushchair and Ton had decided early on that he hated slings and packs.

"Ah. I like this one!" Jack declared as he sized up a tree.

"It has bird shit on it!" Babbit huffed and Walter giggled.

"Bab! Language!" Ianto growled.

"Well it does!"

"Right, this one then!" Jack pointed to its neighbor.

"Too short." Babbit declared.

"Same size as the other one!" Jack whined.

"IT was also too small as well as the bird shit!" Babbit grumped.

"I need to pee!" Walter suddenly said and he looked around for a toilet block.

"Just go behind a tree, like a bear in the woods" Jack laughed, "Go on. Just pee."

"I can't do that" Walter was scandalized at the mere thought, "My moon will be on high beam!"

Ianto had placed Ton down on the ground and he was picking up pine nettles and smelling them with interest.

"Yucky" Ianto said without looking and Ton regarded his handful for another few beats, then opened his hand and watched them fall.

"Good boy."

"He's not a dog either" Babs was on a roll, missing his favorite TV show for this crap.

"I swear, you get more like your uncle Owen every day" Jack scolded, "Bloody scrooge."

"So, Jack's not a monkey, Ton is not a dog. What about me. Or your brothers. What are they not." Ianto asked calmly.

"Yeh?"

Ianto nodded and Jack looked away as he struggled not ot laugh.

"OK!" Babbit stood up, "You are not the giver and taker of lollies. Daddy is allowed ot give some too. Stephen is not the one who is always allowed to be in the front back seats and Walter is not a bloody pack horse but he always carried Bubba's bag."

"Oh" Ianto said with shock.

"So, you want me to give and take lollies from you?" Jack demanded, his smile gone as he heard the tone of voice from the little upstart. "And Stephen has long legs, he doesn't fit in the very back seats, as you well know!"

"I like carrying Ton's bag" Walter shoved him, "I love Ton!"

"So do I!" was the reply and return shove.

"Stop it!" Ianto demanded.

The boys glared at each other.

"We are here to pick a bloody tree" Ianto roared, cradling Ton.

Everyone looked chastened.

"Sorry Taddy," came small voices.

"Right. This one!" Ianto pointed and everyone agreed.

"Just one small problem" Babbit said and everyone groaned.

"What!"

"IF we are tying it to the roof, we might want to shake out the squirrel first."

Jack's girly scream echoed across the park.


	2. Chapter 2

Ianto looked out over the mall, searching for Jack.

He had wandered off again with the two oldest beasts and Ianto wondered if he should just get a bloody harness for him, not Babs.

Finally, he saw Jack striding over with his two little ducklings following, their parcels in their arms.

"Sorry Hon, Walt wanted the loo" Jack smiled as he helped Walter and Stephen put their things down.

"How's our boy?" Jack asked looking down at an angry looking Babbit.

"Tonny is tired and wants to see Santa!" Babbit growled, "He is _so_ upset at you!"

Jack glanced at the happy little boy, chewing on his teething ring with determination.

"Oh?" Jack grinned at Ianto and then spoke to the little cherub in the pushchair.

"I'm sorry Prince Tonny, the magnificent one." Jack crooned and the little baby grinned up at him with a waving hand to be kissed.

"aw" Jack gushed, kneeling to do just that.

"Come on, we don't want to keep him waiting" Ianto quipped, pushing Babbit towards the line of children.

As they stood waiting, Walter and Stephen pushed each other, shoving each other out of the line.

"Stop it!" Jack hissed, "Santa can see you."

"that's not Santa!" Babbit snorted, "He's too skinny!"

"Santa has dieted all year to be able to eat all the Christmas lollies and drink all the yummy drinks left out for him" Stephen said, showing the Harkness-Jones quick mind.

"Right!" Babbit scoffed with narrowed eyes.

"Did you … do that thing you needed to do?" Ianto asked calmly, as he pulled Walter away from Stephen again.

"Yep" Jack grinned.

It was their turn and the boys trudged up for their photo with Santa.

"Ho, ho, ho. Who do we have here!" Santa said in a booming voice.

"Are you really Santa?" Babbit demanded and Stephen giggled.

"Babs!" Walter hissed, rolling his eyes.

"Ah. Let me see. I am guess you are the …." An elf scooted forward and whispered to Santa who nodded and checked the clipboard shoved at him, "Good. Good. Production is looking good. Tell them no more skateboards, focus on the Barbie Dolls."

"Now. Yes. Harkness-Jones children!" he frowned as Babbit's mouth fell open. "Stephen, Walter, baby Carlton and as for you Noah, do you want a lump of coal?"

Babbit was in shock, gaping at the man who had just totally rocked his world.

The elf gave Jack the thumbs up and Jack grinned as he blew her a kiss.

"Oh my god!" Babbit enthused, "You ARE Santa."

"Yes, I got your E-mail and I must say, you do want a lot young man, considering you are only barely on the nice list right now!"

Ianto relaxed as the boys posed for the family pic, carefully positioning his wee boy with nervous hands.

Once the photos were taken he rushed forward to reclaim Ton and found Santa enamored with the bub.

"Such intelligent eyes" he was crooning, "You are a real thinker, aren't you?"

"Ton has a Downer syndrome" Babbit told Santa, "So he will always be special."

Santa looked up as Ianto approached, smiling nervously as he carefully gathered the baby and kissed his little face while telling him he was such a good boy for Santa.

Jack lifted Babbit down and Santa reached out, hooking his arm.

"Look mate, me oldest has DS, don't give up. He is seventeen and the bloody light of me life. Me and the missus wouldn't have 'im any other way!" a suddenly cockney voice whispered.

Jack smiled and thanked Santa for his kind heart and then peeled off a fifty-pound note for Babbit to proudly place in the collection box by the chair for the homeless children.

He then watched Ianto as he buckled Ton into his pushchair with a look of total devotion.

Yeah.

Wouldn't have him any other way. 


	3. Chapter 3

3

Ianto wandered downstairs in the semi-darkness, Walter finally asleep after threats and promises.

Santa was coming.

Only the Christmas lights from the tree to light the way as he tip-toed down, secretly glad they were unwrapping one gift first thing in the morning.

He couldn't wait to see Walter's face.

Jack was standing by the tree, his Santa hat pushed back as he looked up at the top of the tree.

"Hey Santa" Ianto said softly, "Did you bring me anything? I've been a good Taddy this year."

Jack turned, eyes dancing above the fake beard as he asked in a deep voice, "How good?"

"I survived four horrible children that have all tried to kill me in one way or another, a husband that is so infantile I think he wants me to breastfeed him and to top it all off, I have a sore knee from playing outside today" Ianto pouted dramatically.

"Oh ho, ho, poor boy" Jack grinned, "Santa thinks you have been a very good boy!"

"Oh, Santa" Ianto fluttered his eyelashes, "Would you like a wee tipple? I have a very nice scotch waiting by the lovely big bath I just ran."

"Oh, you poor thing, let me come settle you in the bubbles" Jack boomed, "There are bubbles right?"

Ianto giggled as he led Santa away and Babbit's eyes watched from the crack in his bedroom door with awe, Taddy can even get Santa to go mushy like Daddy.

He sat on his bed for a while and thought about it, then got frightened that Daddy might not like Santa with Taddy in the bath.

He exited the bedroom and snuck into the master bedroom, hearing splashing and soft laughter.

"Santa, you bad boy!" Babbit yelled as he raced into the bathroom to find … Daddy and Taddy in the bath with matching expressions of shock. The Santa hat on Jack's head had bubbles on it.

No Santa.

Babbit looked around with confusion.

"Where's Santa gone?" he demanded.

"On deliveries" Jack answered, "Look. He gave me a cool hat."

"You didn't smack him, did you?" Babbit asked with horror, "Daddy? You didn't hurt Santa?"

"No darling," Ianto rose and Jack gaped as bubbles cascaded down the gorgeous body.

"Oh good"

"Why are you up?" Jack asked, distracting him as Ianto kicked the Santa suit behind the door.

"I wanted to see Santa"

"Well, you did. Don't tell though, he's very shy" Ianto smiled. "You think you can go back to sleep?"

Babbit considered as he eyed the bubbles then shook his head gleefully as he started to pull off his PJs.

Jack sighed and laid back, Nookie Time Interruptus.

Babbit clambered in with Taddy helping steady him and he cuddled against Ianto as his face was peppered with kisses.

"They will be so jealous" Ianto crooned, "You got to see Santa."

"I will make them pinky swear to keep it secret!" Babbit declared as he flicked bubbles at Daddy.

Jack grinned and shook off his disappointment, swishing the water and leaning in for a kiss, getting two.

"Taddy said we can open one each in the morning, before everyone comes for the party" Jack told him, enjoying the clap of glee.

"Really?"

"The rest in the afternoon, when everyone can enjoy them" Ianto laughed.

"Will there be more at home?" Babbit asked as he stroked Ianto's chest hair.

"Yes. Bets and the others in the village, as well as Connor and his family. The Grandys too. They will stay with us through New Year's and pressies will be opened there, day after tomorrow as well" Ianto said as he watched eyelids drooping.

Ianto lifted his wee boy out and dried him, replacing his PJs and carrying him to bed.

"Taddy?"

"Yes darling Babbitty"

"Santa is gone. He dropped the pressies, right?"

"Yes love" Ianto tucked the covers around him.

"Good, 'cause you're naked as a jay bird."

Ianto giggled all the way back to his bit of nookie in the tub.


	4. Chapter 4

s4

Stephen crowed as he lovingly stroked the set of books, "I can't believe you got me the whole set! This is awesome!"

Jack had no idea what the series was but could tell Ianto had pulled a blinder as he smiled softly at their oldest child.

Walter had been pleased with his Star Wars Lego and Babbit was overly excited about the camping gear. Tonny loved the new toys, but decided the wrapping and boxes were just as good.

There was a moment of calm as Jack slipped away for the final present that he had kept under his bed last place Ianto would look.

"Cariad?" Ianto said with surprise as he recognised the shape of the parcel.

Jack placed in on Ianto' lap and watched anxiously as Ianto unwrapped it, uncharacteristically ripping the paper instead of popping the tape.

He ran his hands over the case and made a small noise, then opened t.

He removed the guitar and gasped as he ran his fingers over the carved frontage.

"Do you like it?" Jack asked softly, anxious now.

"Oh Jack, it's beautiful!" Ianto sighed as he smelt the wood.

"Can I smell too?" Babbit demanded, leaning in to smell.

Ianto settled and started to tune it by ear, remembering the guitar Lisa had brought him their first Christmas together, lost in the fire.

He began to sing.

Wooden Heart by Elvis, a favourite of hers and Walter's head shot up as he recognized the song, joining in. Taddy used to sing it to him hen he was small.

Jack was transfixed as Ianto's voice gained timbre and melody.

He was the beautiful thing in the room.

Walter was enamoured, his hands clasped against his chest as he sang along and Stephen closed his eyes as he enjoyed his Taddy's lovely deep voice.

Ianto stopped singing, overcome with the gift and Jack fond himself holding Ianto as he clung to him, the guitar stolen by Walter who was examining it.

"Can I learn?"

"Me too?" Stephen asked.

"Boring, I want drums!" Babbit snarked and Ianto snorted into Jack's embrace.

"We might see about lessons" Jack agreed as he patted himself on the back.

Walter had wandered off and returned with another present, one he shoved at Jack.

"This is for both of you, from all of us"

Jack looked at the picture of his family, playing in the snow and knew it was the best one yet. Walter had taken it from Jack's office, a timer on the camera so he was in shot too.

Kid had an eye for this.

Jack was glad that they had got him that camera for his birthday now.


	5. Chapter 5

5

"Taddy! You didn't!" Ianto cried as the large monster pram came into the house.

It looked exactly like a cartoon firetruck, complete with a brass bell.

"It's for Tonny" Eugene grinned, helping Babbit climb in, instantly showing who it was really for.

"Er, well. They will both fit!" Eugene said as he felt his son's glare, "Aye, Babs. You can drive your little brother around."

"BBBBBBBRRRRRRRRUUUUUMMMMMMM" Babbit yelled, appearing a lot younger that the four and a half he now was.

"Oh Taddy!" Ianto laughed.

Eugene grinned as he maneuvered the thing back outside and began racing up and down the sidewalk as Babbit leaned out with a look of glee.

"Go Grandy-bum, GO!" Babbit screamed as his love for speed was displayed.

"I swear to god; he'll have a heart attack one day!" James growled as his husband roared past again.

"He does love Babs" Ianto grinned.

"That's fine, I want this one!" James said, plucking Ton from Ianto's arms and peppering his face with kisses.

Jack came out to stand behind Ianto, "Good. I want this one!"

Jack pulled Ianto back and kissed him passionately as James watched with a big grin.

"Soppy git!" James snorted, then squeaked as Eugene grabbed him and gave him a kiss.

"GRANDY!" Babbit roared, slapping his hand against the side of the cart, "BRUM!"

"Gotta go good lookin," Eugene said as he kissed his husband, "Gotta brum."

The men shook their heads as Babbit disappeared back inside the monster and the running started again.

"At least it's exercise, I guess" Ianto shrugged.

Walter called out from inside and Ianto went back in, finding Walter and Stephen fiddling with the remotes.

"We want music" Stephen said as he shook a remote, "Can't find the right one."

"Grey skinny one" Ianto said as he reached out and plucked one from the pile, "Where did you find all these?"

"Babbit has them all in his chair!" Stephen laughed, "Little stinker steals them and then won't share."

"Little bugger!" Ianto laughed as he shook his head.

"Well, I guess the king should be in control" James quipped as he started to count.

"Eight? Why eight?"

"Little shit!" Ianto exclaimed as he took two from his father's hands, "these are from my bedroom!"

"You sure he's not blood related?" James frowned, "Eugene keeps all his remotes in a pocket on the chair, I must request something and he dienes it. God forbid I get a remote!"

"They are spending so much time together that they are assimilating" Jack gasped, "Like the bloody Borg in Star Trek."

Ianto sighed as another scream roared past the house, followed by faint shouting.

"Oh, joy." Ianto said drolly to his father, "sounds like Owen had arrived."

"Ah shit!" Jack ran but was too late and Ianto twigged a second later, also cursing.

Eugene ran past with a contented look as a bewildered Owen clung to the edge of the monster, Babbit clinging to him as he screamed like a siren.

"Look Taddy, we saved Owen!"

Ianto burst out laughing as Owen looked back at them, "Wankers. Get me outta here!"

"All aboard the crazy train" Jack called back as he waved.

As they went around the comer Ianto remembered the construction on the sidewalk and started to giggle.

Soon they could hear that they had reached it as Owen yodeled over each bump.

The steering wheel was, apparently, quite hard.


	6. Chapter 6

6

"Oh my god, Baby! It's snowing!" Jack screamed excitedly, a bit too excitedly for a Sunday morning.

Ianto groaned as Jack ran out into the main house screaming to the kids that it was snowing.

Carlton started to cry in his bed and Ianto swore as he threw his covers off and went to retrieve him.

Jack was kneeling as he forced Walter's boot on and Ianto had to repeat himself a few times before Jack understood that it was the wrong boot. Babbit's wouldn't fit Walter.

Then he has them suited and booted and they rushed off, leaving a crying baby boy that Ianto struggled to change and dress before they could follow.

Jack ran out into the snow, shouting louder than the kids and Babbit stomped after them with a serious look on his face.

Ianto carried Carlton out and knelt, letting the baby feel the snow for the first time and his little face lit up as he was not told it was yucky.

Jack fell over, roaring with laughter and screaming at the boys to help him make angels, Walter and Stephen obliging as Babbit stood with his hands on his hips, shaking his head like an old man.

"Come one Babs, get into the bloody spirit of it!" Jack said as he sat up and did an exaggerated Hollywood dive to start a new angel.

Babbit glared for a while then walked over to a pristine patch and flopped back, laying there like a dead body.

Ianto knew he should intervene but he had grown used to the child's acrid humor and was waiting for what was surely to be a punchline somewhere in his vacant stare into the blue sky.

Finally, he rose and looked down at his melted dead body pose, arms folding as he thought, then to Ianto's astonishment he flipped open his pants and peed in the head area. Walked around to the other side of the head and peed again, then shook and replaced his little snake.

Now Jack was sitting up watching as well, the other two kids oblivious as they argued over who made the best angel.

Carlton didn't care either way as he found a buried violet plant, still with leaves and was happily shredding it before Taddy could stop him.

"Um, Babbitty? What are you doing darling?" Ianto asked as he walked over to Babbit's artwork, looking own at the dead body now sporting piss yellow eyes.

Babbit rolled his eyes then grinned wickedly.

"Just a sec" he muttered, pulling a garden stake out and drawing something coming from his butt.

Ianto saw what it was and started to laugh, big rolling bellows as he folded over at the waist.

"Babe?" Jack stood and walked over to see for himself.

"What?" Jack frowned as he tried to make it out.

"Bab … it has …. God …. Tail …. Beast!" Ianto was making no sense as he shook with mirth and Babbit grinned as he watched his Taddy enjoy his work.

Taddy got it.

"Ianto? I don't get it" Jack pouted, "It doesn't even have wings let alone a skirt!"

Babbit sighed and shook his head as he turned to look at poor, dumb Daddy.

"Daddy! Taddy sees. You have to squint a bit, he doesn't have his glasses on so he sees it straight away!" Babbit said angrily, "Look! It's me!"

Jack looked to Ianto for help.

"Jack" Ianto finally got a handle on his giggling, "Look. It's a tail, they're eyes. Look."

Jack looked again as he tied to imagine … then he snorted, choked and laughed softly

"You little bugger!" Jack roared, laughing at the humor of the moment.

Babbit looked at his Taddy lovingly and thanked him for getting it as Ianto drew him into a hug.

He then retrieved the camera and Babbit almost burst with pride as Ianto declared it the best snow sculpture of the whole day.

He even put the picture of it on the fridge.

Babbit's snow devil.


	7. Chapter 7

7

Babbit was yelling at the dogs, waving a garden stake as he chased them away from his snow devil.

He had diligently staked it out the night before, even applying solar lights so the stupid guests didn't blunder over it, only to find the bloody things had run all over it.

"Oh darling, it doesn't matter" Ianto assured him, "I have a photo."

"Bloody monnerals!" Babbit screamed and Ianto hid his humor at the butchering of the word mongrel.

"I was thinking of some different snow art" Ianto said as he stroked a cold little cheek, "Snow sculptures. We could make something then you could paint it was some food coloring, like a statue or something."

Babbit lit up, running to fetch his brothers and immediately making it a competition.

Stephen made an octopus, Walter made a sleeping dog which was again called a 'monneral' as Babbit sniffed at it and Babbit made a dragon.

Food coloring and brushes were dispensed as they then painted their masterpieces, other village children joining in.

Soon the carpark was full of amazing creations and Ianto was hard pressed to find a winner. He knew there was only one way to settle this without tears so he went to Babbit.

"Darling, you know I have a soft heart and won't want to choose. You are the one who made this wonderful game, maybe you should judge the winner. Then you aren't the winner all the time because …." Ianto leaned in close, "You know yours is bestest again."

"I know Taddy," he sighed theatrically, "Not their fault though. Not an arty bone in their bodies!"

Babbit got into the role with gusto, making several adults giggle as he got out Heck's measuring tape and began to measure and assess.

Ianto retrieved the clipboard for the cleaning lists and handed it over to Babbit so he could be really officious and he took delight in striding up and down like a little Napoleon as Bethany carried the clipboard with a look of total devotion.

"Well, Daisy. I would never have thought of a blue rose but Taddy says you can get blue ones now. Modern science, what a wonder!" Babbit declared and a few titters were heard as the village waited for the next Great Babbit Decree.

Connor had moved over by Jack and they were both looking at each other as they giggled.

"Devon! You know that's crap! Were you even doing it with your eyes open? Looks like you made it with your butt!"

More titters and Jack had to stuff his face in the snowbank as Connor turned to look at the Christmas tree as his shoulders shook.

"Oh, Mrs Morrison. You are a bit old to compete but it's OK. It's not a winner anyway!"

Clapping and laugher.

"Oh. Layla, so pretty. I like the use of the red for the eyeballs, very good rat. Cat? Really? With that snout? No. I think you will find that it's actually a rat. Very good though."

Ianto watched Ton throw a handful of snow into the air and laugh softly as it hit his face on the way down.

"Stephen! A dead Christmas tree! WOW!" everyone turned to look at the tree, laying on the ground with pinecone ornaments.

A couple more were critiqued and everyone accepted it with good grace, used to the sharp tongue and wit.

Finally, he stopped in front of Ton.

"And what do we have here Carlton!" he knelt and looked at the small mound of snow Ton was patting.

"What are you making killer?"

Ton looked up and grinned, babbling nonsense and then with a mighty thump of a wee fist, he squashed it flat and laughed.

"Well. Sorry, dead snowman beats dead tree!" Babbit shrugged as he rose and addressed his audience with distain.

"Carlton-Ianto is the winner! So descriptive and inspiring. Quite forward thinking really!" Babbit said with his hands on his hips as he struck his Daddy's hero pose for the public, "Stephen gets an honorable mention, so does Layla's rat. No, sorry. It's a bloody rat! Stop pretending otherwise ya bloody mad woman!"

Everyone clapped as Ton screamed and clapped as well.

"TODDY TIME" Ianto yelled, a large tray of hot toddies coming out followed by Bets and a tray of hot chocolates for the kids.

Everyone cheered.

Napoleon Babbit picked up his little brother and kissed him as he whispered, "You will always be the bestest if I can choose!"


	8. Chapter 8

8

Ianto was enjoying the peace as the family rampaged outside.

Even Bets was enjoying the day, snowball fights and eggnog penciled in for the afternoon. So, yeah Ianto liked order.

So?

Ianto stood looking up at the huge tree in the forecourt of the chalets, wondering how they were going to dispose of it, something he hadn't asked Bets. Heck just always seems to make them disappear.

Some ornaments were looking bedraggled, the apples down to cores or completely gone as the local wildlife had enjoyed their offerings.

Ianto frowned and wandered inside, soon followed by the eagle-eyed Babbit.

"Taddy?"

"Kitchen munchkin" Ianto called out, turning from his task as Babbit strode in, full captain mode engaged.

"Taddy. You OK?"

"Yes darling. Just thinking, the poor birds and squirrels are hungry. All this snow will make it harder for them to forage." Ianto said then glanced up to see a look of doom. "Its OK sweetheart, I wouldn't let them starve!"

The others finally came inside, bumbling and laughing as they rushed to the open fire and warmed their hands. Stephen was the first to smell it.

"Popcorn!" he declared, looking around.

Babbit sat in Heck's big chair, where he seemed to live these days, his tongue firmly between his teeth as he threaded popcorn onto string with a darning needle.

"Watch your fingers darling" Ianto crooned as a fresh bowl was offered, this one colored with food coloring and Babbit gasped.

Ianto then left, returning with two more different colored bowls of popcorn.

"Food coloring, not harmful to the creatures of the land" Ianto said calmly as Babbit eyeballed the bowls, then Babbit nodded and continued stringing.

"Can I do some Babs?" Walter asked and Babbit grunted, pointing his needle at another string.

Soon Walter was leaning against the chair as they shared the responsibility.

"I'm sticky wet!" Stephen sighed, "May I have a shower?"

Ianto kissed his cheek and handed him a mug of hot chocolate to take with him and Stephen looked lovingly at him as he wandered down the hall.

"DADDY YOU BUGGERY MONNERAL!" came a roar and Ianto swung to see Jack laying on the floor, calmly plucking popcorn off the other end and chewing thoughtfully.

"You bad man!" Ianto scolded as he grabbed Jack by his feet, dragging him away from the popcorn.

"But baby, it's popcorn!" Jack wailed.

"These are for our woodland babies!" Babbit growled, "Poor hungry animals!"

"I'm a hungry animal!" Jack dramatically flopped around on the floor as Ianto slapped his butt and told him to cut it out.

"You can have this!" Babbit said calmly sliding out of the chair.

He walked over and upended the bowl, unpopped cornels and popcorn bits falling on him like confetti, "Lick that up ya stinky Dad!"

Ianto was on his knees laughing hysterically as Jack spluttered and struggled to his feet.

"You bloody little …."

"He's right. Think about the big picture here!" Walter had followed Babbit over and stood with his hands on his hips, brown eyes just as fiery as his Taddy's blue could be.

Jack looked at him with wonder, there could be no mistaking the parentage of this child as Ianto's frown held him.

"There are babies starving out there! Their mums and dads rely on us to feed them now!" Walter said grandly, throwing an arm around Babbit's shoulders, "Babs was so clever to think of this. We need to support each other right now, Christmas is about giving, not receiving!"

Ianto felt his heart bursting through his chest as he looked at his boys, united against Jack and rushed over, engulfing them in a hug.

"I am so proud of you both, my beautiful little men!" he gushed and the boys rolled their eyes at each other knowing when Taddy got gushy it's best to stand still and let him get it over with.

Jack grinned as he hooked the end of a string and made gobble noises, only to be stopped by a new voice.

"NO!"

Everyone turned and Ianto now knew he was going to die of happiness and little Ton pointed his binky at Jack from his play mat.

Ton's first word!

 **No.**

.

.

.

 **I have been asked about Babbit's personality. I have mild Asperger's but Aubrey (the 26yr old) is extreme. It runs in our family and Babbit is loosely based on him. Of all our family, he is sometimes the most acidic yet amusing at the same time. He has no inner monolog and just comments randomly. Just as Jem (23) has thrown dark and represents the Maori and Spanish blood of Dad to the fullest with his brown skin, piercing brown eyes and curly black hair, Aubs was born blonde, blue eyed and was angelic from the first flutter of long lashes. A throwback to our Nordic past (Has a cousin that is identical even down to the blonde ringlets). As a small child, people would rush over to gush as he was very pretty. To my horror, he sometimes deigned to answer them and his wicked tongue never disappointed.**

 **His first sentence was to our neighbors and not one for the baby book. It was "Fucking ugly dog!"**

 **As my father was the potty mouth who forgot small ears, I was at least satisfied that he was holding the beast's little hand while talking to the neighbor at the time.**


	9. Chapter 9

9

Ianto had voiced out loud his problem with the disposal of the Christmas tree, and wished he hadn't as Jack's face lit up and he was told "I'll sort it!"

Ianto was further concerned when Babbit came running back into the house for his ear muffs and then screamed, "Let her rip", as he ran back out.

When he heard Heck's chainsaw splutter into life, he decided to hide in the study.

Ton was sitting on the desk, slamming the large CLOSED stamp down over and over again on the leather, no ink provided so it wasn't marking it but he was enjoying the sound it made. It drowned out the faint sound of the chainsaw.

"Dear?" Bets popped her head around the door and the sound was louder as Ianto looked up from his baby, "Do you think you should go see which way it might fall? I don't think he's walked out the height of it."

Ianto gasped with horror, leaping up and scooping Ton from the desk and into his Nan's arms in one fluid movement all parents gain after the third or fourth one.

Bets giggled as she replaced the child and opened a drawer, rummaging until she found another stamp, this one had a larger handle. It was from the old days when each chalet had its own folder and each guest had an open to closed file. She remembered when Heck had brought them home, all pleased with the new system that had several inks to match.

Lasted about three months before he grew tired of it. Boys and their toys.

She watched the little face light up as he considered the one already held firmly in his left hand and the one on offer.

The swap was conducted with a serious pout.

Stamping resumed.

Ianto stepped out into the sunlight and looked up as the tree started to tilt.

"Jack!" he roared, and Jack turned, sawdust still spewing.

"Jack, the chalet!" Ianto pointed and Jack looked in that direction, then turned with a grin and waved.

Ianto face palmed and then started to run.

Babbit stood with his hands on his hips and the huge purple earmuffs firmly in place.

"No running in the courtyard ya Monneral!" he roared, "Oh Sorry Taddy."

Ianto scoped him up and turned, making it just in time with just one branch catching across his shoulder, making him cry out with pain.

Babbit was boggling as he stared at the tree coming towards him and he clung to his Taddy with horror as it swiped his beloved Taddy's shoulder, making him stumble.

Ianto turned and looked at the chalet, sighing as it groaned, then the siding collapsed as the front awning came away.

Jack stood gaping at the carnage and slowly turned to look at Ianto who was still clinging to Babs as he shook with shock.

"Ianto!" Connor's car had been entering and watched the scene unfold, scaring the shit out of him and making him deploy the brakes.

He flew from the car and his poor wife calmly employed the handbrake as they continued to roll.

Connor reached Ianto and engulfed him in a hug, checking his shoulder as Ianto gasped and shook, finally letting Babbit slide to the ground.

Babbit stormed over to Jack who was still frozen with horror, growling as he kicked him as hard as he could.

"Bad!" Babbit roared, "You stupid Daddy! Look what you did to Heck's Shell!"

Walter and Stephen had grabbed each other as they watched it all happen and now Walter rushed to grab their little brother, rampaging with his gob on high setting.

"Bloody monneral, you should listen to Taddy, how do I fix that? Heck would turtle you for that ya bloody fool!" Babbit screamed.

"Turtle me?" Jack blinked.

"Yes! Put his hands around your neck bit and bloody turtle you, ya monneral!" Babbit was beside himself and he stormed inside to tell Bets, knowing she would back him up.

Stephen had watched and then did what any Harkness-Jones would do if personally uninjured. He burst out laughing, falling to his knees as he roared with laughter.

"Glad someone got something out of this" Ianto snarled as Stephen roared "turtle" between shrieks of laughter.

"Are you OK?" Jack asked softly, reaching for Ianto.

"Yeah, just bloody furious. You bloody fool" Ianto gasped, then fell into his arms.

Jack held him tightly and looked at the chalet.

"Shit, I think I broke it, hon." Jack whimpered.

"It's OK" Ianto straightened up, "It's insured. Only the frontage, the roof is still intact. God, Jack."

"I'm sorry" Jack sighed, pulling Ianto into another hug as he watched Connor receive an ear full for his car escape.

Bets came out and stood looking at the damage and started to laugh with Stephen.

"He hated that awning, wanted them all green to match the rooves but they ran out of green stock so the last two were red." She giggled as she jiggled the baby on her hip, "He always bloody hated it!"

"Just as well!" Babbit snarled as he strode out with Walter following, camera in hand. "Go on Wally. I want pics of everything!"

"Evidence darling?" Ianto asked and Babbit nodded as he glared at his father.

"I might sue!" he snarled.

Now Ianto felt it bubble up and finally he laughed, letting Jack off the hook as they let off nervous energy, the adrenaline still flying through his system.

"I am sorry sweetheart" Jack said softly, pulling him into his arms.

"What should I have expected" Ianto said as he accepted a kiss, "I should have known, any time you said you'll sort it something is blown up, shot down or burned to a crisp."

"Burn!" Jack's face lit up and he let go of Ianto who took a step back as Jack swung to address the angry Napoleon Babbit.

"Bonfire!" Jack crowed, "We'll burn it!"

Babbit considered and then nodded, waving a hand imperiously at Walter.

"You can stop now good man. We'll burn the bugger!" Babbit declared in his Daddy's hero pose.

Ianto walked calmly inside and sat in the chair with Ton back on the desk.

After a few minutes he leaned forward and buried his face in the little boy's belly, laughing as he shook with hysteria.

Ton calmly opened the ink pad he had stolen from the still open side drawer and carefully rolled the stamp like he had seen Taddy do in the other room out front in the office bit. Then with extreme gentleness, he stamped his Taddy's forehead.

 **CLOSED FOR REPAIRS**


	10. Chapter 10

10

Walter was taking pictures as Jack walked around the tree with Connor.

Manny had arrived with a couple more villagers, lured in by the god almighty crash that had echoed around the hills.

The menfolk were all talking and shaking their heads as they discussed the best way to cut it up and where to put the bonfire.

Babbit climbed onto the trunk of the tree, no mean feat but determined to have a picture taken in hero pose on top.

He stood looking like the Napoleon he was and Walter told him to go a bit higher.

"Just up a bit Babs, get the mountain in the background" Walter called and Stephen stood with a hand on his shoulder as he peered through the viewfinder as well.

Babbit slipped.

He screamed as he wind-milled his arms and fell, grabbing the first branch he slammed into and screaming hoarsely as he hung upside down like a blond sloth.

Well, if they screamed like mental things.

Stephen screamed and grabbed Walter, then looked up at the real world instead of the small viewfinder and the pressure in Walter's shoulder increased.

Jack was oblivious to the drama unfolding at the top of the tree as the menfolk all yelled at each other at the base, their ear protection still on.

"Hold on Walter, oh god!" Stephen screamed as Walter took action shots and moved closer, kneeling to angle the camera up, finding sky behind the frightened Babbit.

"I WANT MY TADDY!"

Ianto was washing dishes and heard the faint cry of his second youngest.

He checked that Ton was happily playing with Bet's beads as she crooned softly to him by the fire, then he headed out to see what the problem of the hour was.

Stephen was beside himself, almost in tears as he begged Babbit to hang in, he would catch him if he fell and Walter was shaking as he took another shot of Stephen standing with his arms out to catch his beloved brother.

Ianto exited the back door and stood watching the scene as it unfolded.

Jack and Connor arguing with Manny and Isaac the butcher about the bonfire with arms flailing and loud voices to hear each other over their respective earmuffs.

Ianto then looked at the other end of the tree where Babbit was still screaming for him with obvious terror.

Babs had his eyes screwed shut as he hyperventilated and wailed, Walter and Stephen encouraging him from the ground.

Ianto sighed and snarled at the two older boys to grow up as he pushed past, walking over to his poor baby.

Reaching out, he tapped him on the shoulder.

Babbit whimpered and clung to the branch tighter.

"Babbitty bum" Ianto said softly and Babbit opened his eyes as he looked up at his Taddy.

Wait.

Up?

Babbit looked up at his Taddy's calm face and realized he was about the same height at Taddy's belly.

That means.

Babbit looked down at the snow bank that was almost to the top of Taddy's boots and not even a meter from Babbit's bum.

Babbit looked over at his brothers who had finally given in to their urge to laugh, holding each other as they screamed with laughter, pleased with their joke.

Babbit let go, landing in the soft snow and Taddy picked him up, kissing his face and brushing him off as he checked his hands were OK.

Taddy kissed his palms and declared them fine.

Good.

Babbit strode over to where Daddy had started to build the bonfire, choosing a nice long branch that Daddy had already stripped the green bits off.

A good stick.

He then calmly walked towards the two monnerals on their knees holding each other as they laughed and made squealing noises.

Taddy sighed and stepped back as he saw Babbit advancing.

 _Good Taddy. Love you._

Walter looked up just in time, squealing as he sprang to his feet, followed by Stephen.

Now it was their turn to scream as they ran around trying to avoid Babbit and his swinging stick of doom.

Ianto considered his options and shrugged as he watched Jack windmill and fall backwards into the unlit bonfire.

The other men laughed as they dragged him out by his snow boots.

Ianto went back inside.

Dishes to do.


	11. Chapter 11

11

Finally, the bonfire was ready and Babbit was told that he could make a speech, something that excited the whole village more than him.

Babbit stalked up and down as people waited with baited breath.

"I want to thank you all for coming today." Babbit said solemnly, then turned to Ianto, "Or do I say evening Taddy?"

"It's dusk, so you can choose whichever darling" Ianto said softly.

"Yes! Thank you for coming today, I know my Daddy is an arse but we will make the most of it!"

A few titters started as Jack stepped forward and bowed theatrically to the crowd. Everyone clapped.

"That's enough of that Daddy! Don't make me get the stick!"

Now a few coughs and louder giggling.

"Right! Since Daddy killed the tree and attacked my poor Heck's Shell front bit with the same before said tree, I have decided not to sue Daddy or beat him a bit with my stick."

Now Connor's high pithed giggle was heard over the murmuring crowd.

"This bonfire is a cleaning thingy, to signal the end of Christmas. Daddy killed it when he cut the tree down wrong. Would have been better to buy a bloody beaver!"

Now Manny's loud bellows were recognizable above the soft laughter.

"My two brothers, Stephen and Walter are both arses too, so my little brother Ton is the only one who is allowed to enjoy the fire. The other two can watch with scared thoughts and be happy I didn't have them tied to the bloody tree!"

Now a couple of people had to sit, having trouble breathing.

"So without … whatever … Taddy. Where is the bloody BBQ fire thing?"

Ianto calmly stepped forward with the long BBQ lighter and knelt, letting Babbit place his little hands over his as they reached into the braches and lit the paper inside.

"Happy New Year!" Babbit screamed with flair as he threw his arms wide.

The flames quickly grew and Babbit yelled with glee as the first pinecone popped.

Ianto retreated and pulled Babbit back behind the line he had spray painted around the fire earlier, telling Babbit it was the safe zone.

Babbit screamed with glee as another loud bang sounded and he started to dance around the circle, joined by the other children like a mixture of native American dance and Lord of the Flies extras.

By the time Jack and several other adults joined in, Walter was flicking his camera over to the video mode he had found and was watching the village go nuts.

"Look at them!" Walter snorted to his Taddy, "Bunch of nuttas!"

"Give me the camera" Ianto said softly, "I can film for a while."

Walter gleefully handed off and ran to his Daddy who grabbed him and swung him around, into the madness.

Ianto smiled as he watched his family through the lens.

Christmas was nearly over, but it had been a doozy!


	12. Chapter 12

12

The fire was really underway as the year drew to a close.

Marshmallows had been toasted and a few songs sung, Ianto surprised when Walter had pulled out the guitar and begged for a song.

Ianto finally sat and everyone grew silent, not having heard him play before.

Ianto looked over at Jack nervously and Jack smiled his encouragement. Then Ianto cleared his throat and started to sing as he plucked at the strings.

He sang 'Time of Your Life' by Greenday, surprising some and everyone seemed to know the words. Then he sang 'Great Balls of Fire' much to Babbit's delight and everyone was treated to a Babbit dance.

As it got later, Bets calmly plucked each child every hour, based on their age until only Stephen remained, firmly planted in Ianto's arms.

Ianto sat on a piece of tree and Stephen sat on the ground, leaning back between his Taddy's legs as Ianto hugged him and sang along with everyone. Connor was quite a good guitar player who liked the Eagles and Credence Clearwater Revival.

Finally, Bets came to claim him, "Come on darling it's so late."

Ianto felt Stephen slump and looked over at Jack, seeing him engaged in a good long winded banter with Manny about the chalet frontage.

"It's OK Mam" Ianto said softly, "I think he's man enough to see the new year in this time."

Stephen grinned and settled back, wrapping his arms around Ianto's and squeezing them lovingly.

Ianto rocked him as they all sang 'House of the Rising Sun."

Jack finished his conversation and looked over, seeing Bets settle on Ianto's knee, an arm around his shoulders as she stroked Stephen's hair and the fair haired boy was resting his head against her leg.

He smiled as he watched them cuddle, watching the flames.

Ianto had removed his glasses and Jack saw the young man he fell in love with, so long ago on a cold, rainy day.

Jack moved over to them and reached for Ianto's face, cupping it as he leaned in for a kiss.

"Hey Cariad" Ianto whispered.

"Dance?"

Ianto rose, letting Bets take his place with a sleepy Stephen who was now covered by a blanket as he struggled to stay awake.

The song changed to 'I'll be there for you' and the men danced to the Bon Jovi song with soft sighs of delight from more than one observer.

Connor pulled his wife into the dance and Em let her head drop to his chest as she closed her eyes.

Several couples dance, including Owen and Tosh who shared gentle touches to each other's faces as they watched the firelight play across their faces.

Bets woke Stephen and showed him his Tad's pocket watch, making his gasp with delight and scramble ot his feet.

"Taddy, it's nearly time!" he crowed.

"Yay!" Babbit yelled form the doorway, running out in his little monster onesie and snow boots flapping loosely as he rushed to join the show. The hoodie was pulled up, showing big buggy eyeballs that rolled around.

"You little bugger!" Jack laughed as Bets clucked her tongue.

"Yeah, I'm a real Bugger!" he crowed, reaching Stephen who threw his blanket over him lovingly.

Together they counted down to midnight, Babbit screaming it out with glee.

Walter stood in the doorway with a grizzling Ton and he quickly ran to Ianto and Jack, Jack pulling off the great coat to cover them as Ianto knelt to hug them … they came down to three.

Two.

One.

Happy New Year.


End file.
